It’s cliched but it’s true. Time flies. Especially when you are having fun. In my case that is also true but also mainly because I just got caught up in the challenges of life in the mid-thirties. My last post on this blog was two years ago.
So what hasn’t change in my life since then and what has?
No I’m not married yet. And no I don’t have a kid.
Yes, I still live in Malaysia in the same apartment.
Yes, my job suddenly got busy in early 2015. Responsibilities soared. Suddenly, in a matter of 3 weeks my boss resigned and left the company. I was left all alone in the department. Everyone assumed I knew everything, which wasn’t true. By default, I was the one in charge. By default, I was the expert in everything. By default I was the head of the department but without the experience, the salary nor the title. I blame the incredible stress as one of the major contributors to my back pain and resulting depression. Someone very thoughtlessly told me, it seemed like every company I joined, everyone leaves. For a year, it was very challenging. If I learnt anything, it was how not to be bullied and being comfortable about being me and that people are going to say bad things even if you do good, so just do things that you feel are right. Things have improved though in the past 6 months since I now have an assistant and someone to share the burdens with at work. I am however, not discounting new opportunities.
Yes I had health issues involving a slipped disc and bad sciatica since September 2015. There was a dark period that I wondered, do I really have to live like this for the rest of my life? Not being able to sit for more than 10 minutes. Unable to drive for more than 30 minutes without excruciating pain? Lying in bed every night with pain? Being on endless painkillers and spending every other evening at the physiotherapist or chiropractor or osteopath and feeling like the tiredness and pain would never go away? Being unable to do the daily activities I was used to? Simply bending to pick up a dress to do laundry hurt. Tidying up my house hurt. Walking too much hurt. I stood up at my desk for months to do work. People offered unsolicited advice, “You should lose weight” “You should eat less this and that or more this and that.” or simply blatant and pointless ones like “This is a condition which has a long recovery period.” My back pain is only now finally improving after almost 9 months and it’s a reminder for me, how lucky I am to live without constant pain. I am slowly returning to my previous level of activity but still reminding myself to have adequate rest.
Yes, I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now with someone I met online. I’m not exactly sure, since we don’t celebrate any anniversaries. He is not someone who is monetarily rich, or someone who is good with words or big romantic gestures. There are ups and downs but mostly, he is kind and understanding. He is accommodating and generous towards me in both his time and money. He’s willing to accompany me when my wanderlust strikes. We spent NYE overseas the past two years, end of 2014 in Hong Kong and end of 2015 in Taipei. This year we have plans to spend NYE in Japan. Spending NYE out of Malaysia is important to me because I have bitter memories of some NYE in Malaysia and since then I have made it a point to start the year on a good note. Also, to me the year starts on 1st January and not CNY which is a yucky season for me. We create our own traditions, no? He has also thus far, through my work dramas, family dramas, health issues and emotional downs, always been there for me.
Yes, I crossed off diving at one of my bucket list places- Palau in Micronesia in April 2015. AH-MAH-ZING!! Really unforgettable. How I got through going for a MRI of my spine: alone in that cramped MRI machine with strange sounds, all I thought about with my eyes close was the the beautiful Survivor Island beach, the graceful manta somersaulting right in front of me and the absolute peacefulness sailing in the middle of the Pacific ocean, totally cut off from the forms of communication I am so used to, namely the mobile telephone and emails.
Yes, I finally bought a new car this year, replacing my Proton Wira of 15 years. I love my new little red Mazda 2 It’s super nippy and super sporty. Importantly, it gets me places, keeps me cool on sunny day, keeps me dry on wet ones and it doesn’t trigger or further aggravate my back pain.
Yes I took up French language classes for about a year. I can speak and understand some basic French now. Enough to get by when I visit France for work without feeling lost and like a total idiot.
I have also realized that I have drifted apart from some friends whom I would consider close friends these past two years. Some who stay far away and some even stay in Malaysia or in KL itself. Two of them, I was actually bridesmaid at their weddings. It’s no ones fault honestly. It’s two way. We just reached a point where we stopped calling each other or messaging each other. Even if we talked, it was obvious how different our lives were now. I don’t feel any anger or even regret. I think it’s just part and parcel of life. I do still have some friends whom we still can find common ground in spite of our different circumstances and make effort to keep in touch on what’s happening in each other’s lives. We meet up as often as we can. We celebrate each other’s joys and we mourn each others sadness. For that I am grateful.
My brother’s wife is expecting a baby boy in June 2016. I will be an auntie soon and my parents finally, grandparents. I am hoping this will keep them occupied so they will be less bored. I am considering going to visit the baby in the US but there are many complex considerations. So we shall see.
I hope it won’t be two years again that I write another entry here.